Text 27, 73 rader
Skriven 2004-11-28 09:14:05 av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: Parody politics
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From: Ceri <ceri@twmba.net>
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<tee hee>

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: California's Secession letter to Bush:
Date:     Fri, 19 Nov 2004 08:42:48 EST

        (Okay...this is farcical, but it's also funny, and don't we need 
a chuckle about now?)

California's Secession letter to Bush:

Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, 
we're a bit ticked off here in California, so we're leaving you. 
California will now be its own country. And we're taking all the Blue 
States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, 
Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois, all of the North 
East States, and the urban half of Ohio.

We spoke to God, and she agrees that this split will be beneficial to 
almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of California. 
In fact, God is so excited about it, she's going to shift the whole 
country at 4:30 pm EST this Friday. Therefore, please let everyone know 
they need to be back in their states by then. God is going to give us 
the Pacific Ocean and Hollywood. In addition, we're getting San Diego. 
(Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK 
and country music (except the Dixie Chicks).

Just so we're clear, the country of California will be pro-choice, 
pro-gay marriage, and anti-war. Speaking of war, we're going to need all 
Blue States citizens back from Iraq. If you need people to fight in 
Falujah, just ask your evangelical voters. They have tons of kids 
they're willing to send to their deaths for absolutely no purpose. And 
they don't care if you don't show pictures of their kids' caskets coming 
home.

So, you get Texas and all the former slave states, and we get the 
Governator and stem cell research. (We would love you to take Britney 
Spears off our hands, though. She IS from the south, right?)

Since we get New York, you'll have to come up with your own late night 
TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan 
O'Brien. You get... well, why don't you ask your people at Fox News to 
come up with something entertaining? (Maybe you should just watch 
Crossfire. That's a really funny show.)

We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really 
hope, you find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously.

Soon.

Sincerely,
California

=====
"Masters of War" lyrics: http://bobdylan.com/songs/masters.html
"War Is A Racket!" - General Smedley Butler, USMC
http://lmno4p.org/war/
Lake Merritt Neighbors Organized for Peace (LMNOP),  
weekly peace walks every Sunday at 3 PM.  Info:
http://lmno4p.org/where_when.htm






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