Text 12904, 108 rader
Skriven 2005-05-26 05:25:44 av John Hull (1:379/1.99)
  Kommentar till text 12885 av LEE LOFASO (1:123/140)
Ärende: Monkey Tales
====================
25 May 05 22:29, LEE LOFASO wrote to JOHN HULL:

 LL> Hello John,

 >>BS>For the same reason I go to the Monkey House at the zoo.

 JH>>You ever watch the people who go to the Primate House at a zoo?

 LL> Yes.

 JH>>They stand there and make goofy faces and gestures trying to get 
 JH>>the apes to mimic them. The apes just sit there staring at them.

 LL> That depends on the apes and what mood they are in.

 JH>>You can almost hear them thinking "and they call us animals..."

 LL> Chimpanzees will mimic human actions.  A while back I watched a 
 LL> group
 LL> of people making monkey faces at the chimps, with a particular 
 LL> chimp
 LL> being extremely good at repeating the monkey faces shown.  And 
 LL> then the
 LL> zoo director showed up, fussing at the people making monkey faces. 
 LL>  The
 LL> chimp, seeing what was going on, decided to take things in his own
 LL> hands.  Somehow, the chimp escaped from his Monkey House, ran up 
 LL> to the
 LL> zoo director, grabbed some monkeydoo out of his ass, and threw 
 LL> some
 LL> monkeyshine at the zoo directer, hitting his target right square 
 LL> in the
 LL> face.  Then the chimp ran in the other direction, making his way 
 LL> around
 LL> the zoo grounds. It took hours for zoo personnel to catch the 
 LL> chimp and
 LL> put him back in the Monkey House.

 JH>>There used to be an old silverback gorilla at the San Diego Zoo 
 JH>>back when I lived there

 LL> I wonder how the San Diego Zoo stacks up against Audubon Zoo in 
 LL> New
 LL> Orleans?  Years ago, Audubon Zoo was a laughingstock, with animals 
 LL> kept
 LL> in small cages.  But today, it is one of the best zoos in the 
 LL> country,
 LL> with all the animals kept in a natural habitat.

 JH>>(maybe Tim can tell us if he's still alive).

 LL> As long as Tim stays out of the Monkey House he should be okay.  
 LL> ;)

 JH>>They had an open a viewing area, and this majestic old bull gorilla
 JH>>would sit up on a mound and watch the people lined up along the
 JH>>railing watching him, and the ones who tried to get him to react
 JH>>somehow.

 LL> Well, I certainly hope you do not look or act anything like that 
 LL> old
 LL> bull gorilla.  ;)

 JH>>He would sit there stock still, scratching his ass once in awhile
 JH>>until the crowd started to lose interest, then he would stick his
 JH>>hand under his butt, take a dump in it, and nail some poor slob
 JH>>with two pounds of gorilla shit.

 LL> It's baboons you gotta worry about.  Not gorillas.

 JH>>He seemed to particularly enjoy nailing some good looking female.
 JH>>He would then roll around on the ground as if he were laugh his ass
 JH>>off at the stupid humans - and he probably was!

 LL> Gorillas are very shy animals.  And that is the flaw in your 
 LL> story.
 LL> Chimps, on the other hand, are real hams, and love to cause 
 LL> mischief.
 LL> However, it is baboons which are the most fun to watch.

 JH>>Bob is just like those dimwits standing at the railing, thinking 
 JH>>that they w smarter than old Albert (I think that was his name, 
 JH>>anyway).  But, old Alber never missed as far as I know!

 LL> Thanks for the laugh, with your made-up story.  If you really want 
 LL> to
 LL> learn about monkeys and monkey behavior, try reading this classic 
 LL> -

 LL> "Behavior and Social Relations of the Howling Monkey", by Ray 
 LL> Carpenter.

 LL> Carpenter's monograph totally destroys the myth that primates are
 LL> obsessed with sex and that it is sexual attraction which keeps 
 LL> primate
 LL> troops together.  You see, John, it is the troop itself that is 
 LL> the
 LL> focus of primate life.  Not sexual attraction or fornication.

Screw you, Lee.  Its NOT a made up story.  Its the real deal.  

John 

America:  First, Last, and Always!
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--- Msged/386 TE 05
 * Origin:  (1:379/1.99)