Text 459, 105 rader
Skriven 2007-02-04 15:52:22 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
    Kommentar till text 457 av Daryl Stout (253.survivor)
Ärende: A Humble Request
========================
Hi, Daryl!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

DS>  He is real weak, and hasn't had much of an appetite
DS>  lately.


          Uh-huh.  That's not uncommon during the initial stages of
treatment... Nora experienced the same thing.  Later we went through a short
period where she had a different combination of drugs & she was hungry all the
time.  You may not be told what will happen next because it's too much to take
in all at once.  But in Nora's case the hungry & not-hungry periods balanced
each other over the long haul, and like your father she made nutritionally
sound choices either way.  :-)



DS>  I went over to my parents house Tuesday to walk him a bit.


          Glad to hear you're seeing him in person now!  The treatment may go
on for some time yet & he may need to be reminded of what he still has to live
for.



DS>  It may be just a matter of time now...


          Maybe... maybe not.  Does your father honestly want to get better,
and do you honestly believe he can??  Such factors often make a big difference.
 :-)



DS>  we've done a lot of praying, and it's truly in God's
DS>  Hands.


          Uh-huh.  There are situations over which we have little or no
control, and it's healthy to be able to recognize that.  But IMHO we must do
our bit too. God needs human hands to give someone a hug, to administer the
right medications on time, to mop up after an accident, etc.  Maybe you're the
only person who can get your father out for a walk.  As a caregiver I'd pray
for strength & guidance or say something like "I've done all I can.  Over to
you!"  While the outcome is beyond my control, I believe my thoughts & actions
may have some influence.  :-)



DS>  We know it's incurable


          Who says so, and what do they mean??  "Inoperable" doesn't
necessarily mean "incurable".  And several people we know, although not
technically "cured", have been in remission for ten or twenty years now.... 
:-)



DS>  but when he finally does cross over, we'll have a bunch
DS>  of good memories.


          That's nice, but I'm seeing some undertones of a farewell visit
there. I wondered about him when he said he'd "try" to fight the cancer... and
I wonder about you too.  Folks who are really serious about it tend to say
something more like what the singer José Carreras did when he was diagnosed
with leukemia:  "If there's one chance in a million, it's going to be mine!" 
Two years later he was back at work... and two years later Nora started
kindergarten.  Both of them had something they looked forward to doing,
however, and they were younger than your father.  I've known folks who died of
cancer around the time of their retirement who were also bored when they
weren't at work.  An interesting coincidence.  And those who are even older may
not have much stamina, or may feel it's time to go.



DS>  My late grandmother died of lung cancer in 1993...she
DS>  went down hill fast a month before she died.


          My grandmother went downhill fast too.  But she was eighty-five at
the time... and this occurred four decades ago.  Not long afterward my aunt,
who was told she'd be dead in two to six months, survived for three years.  We
have more effective treatments nowadays... and while all these people had
cancer involving the internal organs, each case is different.  It's important
to realize that the side effects of chemotherapy may not be noticeable for
awhile, so if your father seems to be "going downhill fast" it may be your cue
to have patience & to trust the universe.  I gather the doctors haven't given
up on him yet, anyway....  :-)



DS>  But, she was a real card at times.


          So she spoke her mind & had a sense of humour... I think Bernie
Siegel would approve.  He's also commented, BTW, that "death is not a
failure"....  :-)




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
 * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)