Text 83, 166 rader
Skriven 2005-04-03 13:43:02 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
Kommentar till text 80 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
Ärende: People+The Song Of Life1
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04-02-05 14:02, Ardith Hinton told James Bradley about People... 1.
Well, how do, Ardith?
AH> Hi, James! Retitling 2B, and dividing it into three parts:
Ardith, Ardith, Ardith... I thought we were taking a "Spring Break!" <giggle>
I'm still stuck on the Windows box, and almost done with three loads of
laundry, so we'll see if I make any sense today.
JB> Tact to me means you don't say something that could
JB> come back to haunt you later. Say in a business
JB> situation, or as a consumer, there are ways to allow
JB> people grace, while you are tearing their faces off.
AH> Sounds like a good rule of thumb to me! I think
AH> the same applies in relationships with one's friends &
AH> relatives too.... :-)
Sure, there are friends and relatives that you can tell how you feel, but
mostly decorum has one keeping it to ones self. If a friend is one of the
later, they can be bad for your own blood pressure, so you have to evaluate the
worth of their friendship. Shoot... Nobody wants to walk on egg shells, just
because some sorry sod can't take a hint. I still have one friend, likely my
most solid one, who I have walked away from twice now. He didn't have a clue to
why I was walking at the time, but he was informed when we patched things up
again. I can be a handful too, so I don't expect everyone to have a halo, just
an openness to their own failings.
In the business world, I found those who seemed to enjoy belittling others tend
to stagnate in their careers. Those who tend to high-falute, usually shoot them
self in the foot. My position was usually to stand aside, and let them get
their just deserve. My job was a blue collar unionized one, so I was forced to
work with some jealous older managers. Jealous, as I earned much more than they
did. When the boss 'had the goods', I would only inform them how I thought they
were getting excremented on, and that I thought they could do better. I still
know of one who is now the district manager for the same company, and if policy
is the same, his contract has him working for less than minimum wage. /-:
Another friend had a manager for that same company apply for a job she was
managing, and she was shocked to see how low their wage was. No wonder there
was jealousy at my work!
AH> IMHO a sense of humour goes a long way.... :-)
Sure makes a person easier to be around, doesn't it? <G>
AH> There have been times in my life when I wondered
AH> what I was supposed to be doing next. Maybe you & I are
AH> already doing it here in SURVIVOR.... :-)
Ya... That's the ticket! <ROTF>
Why you always ask the tough questions... Do I have a case of the
"Should-a/Could-a/Would-a"? You bet! Now that I am here, all I can do is go
forward with what I have. I often tell people who deserve a little more
conversation than a tele-marketer, "Doin' what I can with what I've got." What
else *can* you do? (I know, the grammer needs some work. <L>)
JB> Cheers! You're a bloomers kinda girl. <BWEG>
AH> Uh... yeah, I guess I am in some ways. :-))
Mom was a teacher too, so as long as you don't take your work home with you, we
should get along fine. <-;
At times, I realize mom gave me the best education on the planet, and other
times, I just wished she'd take the psycho-babble back to where she learned it.
Something tells me I would have told her so much. <EG> Just recently, she
wanted to apologize to me for her efforts at raising us kids, but I wouldn't
accept under the premiss that she too was doing the best she could with the
tools and resources at her disposal. Sure, it wasn't the Cleavers' house I grew
up in, but it was FAR from the worst situation.
AH> If your sister has actually read the stuff & she
AH> understands what she's read, I guess it's better
AH> late than never.
JB> You got that right. It's just like them to be full
JB> of their own notions though. I guess that can be
JB> true for most of us.
AH> Probably.... :-)
Go with what you know! <L>
JB> As long as the song's in "Our key" everything is
JB> peachy. Comes a minor key, and you can spot the
JB> Laurence Welk crowd in a heartbeat.
AH> Maybe they don't "change their tune" when new
AH> information enters the picture, or recognize that the
AH> background music could be a false alarm.... ;-)
Heck... If my life has a soundtrack, it'd be pretty convoluted! <-|
Shortly after graduation, I started listening to divergent musical influences.
(I'm deliberately keeping this fluffy. ;-) It's still hard for me to listen to
orchestral music though, as once you've played 'in the pit,' there's no stereo
on earth that can replicate that. Opera is still beyond me.
AH> I can relate. As I was about to start on my reply to the
AH> above, our doorbell rang. Two individuals representing an
AH> organization unknown to me were apparently going around the
AH> neighbourhood seeking gifts of money. One launched into a
AH> spiel about how the organization helps disabled people, at
AH> which point I asked "Oh... you realize we have a disabled
AH> person here??" They hadn't noticed the wheelchair just
AH> inside the door & other clues which would be fairly obvious
AH> to somebody with related experience. To their credit,
AH> however, they offered me a pamphlet about the good work the
AH> organization does & left it at that.... ;-)
Oh, I rarely open my door to almost anyone these days. Besides, by the time I
gather myself off the bed, they have usually gone to the next house to pander
for dollars. If I'm close, I'll answer by an upper level door, and get a good
look at the back of their heads as I am getting their attention. Again, like on
the phone, once I tell them I'm on a government disability they tend to scoot
off rather quickly.
AH> People don't always take in what they see or hear. They
AH> may believe they're good listeners... others may describe them
AH> as good listeners. But they may seem deaf to your concerns
AH> because the subject matter is unfamiliar to them and/or
AH> because they're preoccupied with an agenda of their own
AH> which has little or nothing to do with you. Ignorance is
AH> curable, and if a person is willing to learn I'm quite
AH> happy to help. If the real issue has to do with something
AH> else entirely, however, I think it may be wiser to keep
AH> one's own counsel... (sigh).
Well, how can you teach a person who would prefer to remain ignorant? I too
have to realize most people are rather happy listening to 'tame' music, and I
*think* I can forgive them of that. I can't understand it, but I do have to
make the effort to not feel sorry for them. (Sorry if you *are* a Laurence Welk
fan, BTW. :-) I'll take my father as an example. (Man, I feel like I should be
on a couch! <LOL)) I think I've told him three times that the Laurence Welk
show does not take any risks at all, and every note, from every player, on
every song is designed to not create any challenge to the listener. I'll bet
you to this day, that he can not tell me what I think of the show. If he wants
to think a certain thing, that's the end of it. To his benifit, (I feel.) I
turned him onto a local radio station (CKUA: I think you can "www" into it if
you need a good soundtrack. It might be "www.ckua.ab.ca", but more likely just
a ".com") that tends to push some bounderies. His car radio is only off it when
he gives others a ride, so I can't be too tough on him in general.
I think people in our situations have to remember what life was like without
the muck that we are dealing with. Until we do that, I believe we can never
forgive a person for behaving the way they do. Do you remember ever giving a
disabled person too much help during one of their chores? Do you remember
disbelieving a person that appears to be healthy, yet has a disabled placard?
(I still do.)
... James
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