Text 90, 537 rader
Skriven 2006-01-02 19:04:00 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av ALAN IANSON
Ärende: Taglines, of course
===========================

 My newest ones:

"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" Stock boy, "No ma'am, they're dead."
"Food" substances advertised only on Saturday-morning cartoon shows
"Food" substances the color of jukebox lights and nuclear waste.
"That's not a *.  THIS is a *!" * Dundee.
"That's not a sambal.  THIS is a sambal!" Chile-Head Dundee.
"The Halfway House for the Culinary Confused"
* The official * of FIDO National Cooking
* are an important nutritional source of *.
* isn't a matter of life & death. It's more important than that.
* never learns, either. [g]
* transfusions could save your *'s life
*, another man who makes my head spin.
*, now we know we're dealing with a madman.
--> duck & run mode [ON]
1513 A.D. Ponce de Leon discovers Florida, retires there.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito
<gets padded jacket>
A French soldier who creates desserts is a mousseketeer
A country that didn't much like fruits and veggies in the first place.
A eggnostic shopkeeper doesn't believe in selling Easter candy.
A freezer of dead birds in plastic bags.
A giant of a *, gargantuan and calorically blessed.
A giant of a *.... a god among *.
A giant of a sandwich, gargantuan and calorically blessed.
A giant of a sandwich.... a god among snacks.
A group of German psychiatrists have declared him 'a bit sort of off it'
A huge dinner followed by the sound of digestive organs rupturing.
A laugh is a smile that bursts
A man has urges that can't be satisfied by by lettuce alone.
A proud part of the Pork Distribution Network
A real gourmet would commit suicide after eating it.
A restaurateur who refuses to serve seafood is definitely defishient.
A shopping list for a small family? Nay it's all for me.
A vast population able to read but unable to know what is worth reading.
AOL - World's largest floppy disk distributer
Addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers? Quit cold turkey!
Addicted, obsessive, compulsive... FIDO Cooks on the next Geraldo.
Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition!
Ahhhhh, *.... the foundation of civilization!
Ahhhhh, pork....the foundation of civilization!
All unattended children will be sold or bartered
Already a challenge...ahhh, the joys of the mundane...
And 350 kinds of sweet potatoes made from scratch.
And I've got 4,567 archived messages to prove it.
And flame throwers for the Creme Brulee!
And never, ever, drink cheap beer on days ending in Y.
And now he shows his true bloodstained colors.
And so it begins.
And so it ends.
And that's .... a good thing??
Are Greek squid fishermen known as calimariners?
As I live and breath I vow never to step foot in a mall again
As I live and breath I vow never to step foot in * again
As a Canadian, I have always been baffled by Californians.
As a Canadian, I have always been baffled by *
As a fifth-generation bake his talents were inbread and not self-torte
As ye rip, so shall ye sew.
Atkins. The fear of wheat.
Attila the Hun. Affectionately known as "The Hunster."
Australia: a big island masquerading as a continent.
BTW, got my anti-Boo/Hiss filter in place. Booes will be bounced.
Babelfish: so good you can almost understand it.
Back when I was in college, there was no such thing as quantum physics.
Bangers are easy to make. First remove all hint of flavour and spice
Bankruptcy seems pretty profitable for outgoing CEOs and lawyers.
Basil Mojitos?  If they go down that road Cilantro Martinis will be next
Be grateful the early Germans didn't drag home a Chrsitmas moose instead
Beauty: A valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
Being obsessed with it doesn't mean you can do it.
Bi-polar - an eskimo marketing slogan.
Bud, the beer brewed for people who can't taste the difference.
Burt's thespianism is one of the Cooking Echo's dark secrets.
Burton Ford is at the vanguard of things culinary, in spite of himself.
Bush has been like a rock for America! Only dumber.
Caffeine can be synthesized from uric acid.
Californians will be the first to perish in the next ice age.
Can anyone tell me why he isn't dead yet?
Canada.... America Jr.
Canada.... it's like America Lite
Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth.
Caterpallor: color you turn after finding half a worm in your fruit
Change is so rapid, the far future is now only five years away.
Cheez: the name is spelled wrong for legal reasons.
Chocolate should be an honorary vitamin
Coffeeholic - All your kids are named "Joe".
Coffeeholic - Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
Coffeeholic - Cocaine is a downer.
Coffeeholic - Instant coffee takes too long.
Coffeeholic - Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
Coffeeholic - Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
Coffeeholic - The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
Coffeeholic - You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
Coffeeholic - You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.
Coffeeholic - You can't even remember your second cup.
Coffeeholic - You don't get mad, you get steamed.
Coffeeholic - You don't sweat, you percolate.
Coffeeholic - You don't tan, you roast.
Coffeeholic - You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
Coffeeholic - You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
Coffeeholic - You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
Coffeeholic - You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
Coffeeholic - You haven't blinked since the last eclipse.
Coffeeholic - You just made another sweater & you don't know how to knit
Coffeeholic - You lick your coffeepot clean.
Coffeeholic - You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."
Coffeeholic - You sleep with your eyes open.
Coffeeholic - You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
Coffeeholic - You speak perfect Arabic without taking a lesson.
Coffeeholic - You speed walk in your sleep.
Coffeeholic - You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
Coffeeholic - You want to be cremated and spend eternity in a coffee can
Coffeeholic - You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.
Coffeeholic - You're offended when people use the word "brew" for beer.
Coffeeholic - You're so wired, you pick up AM radio.
Coffeeholic - You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
Coffeeholic - You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
Coffeeholic - Your Thermos is on wheels.
Coffeeholic - Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
Coffeeholic - Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
Coffeeholic - Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
Coffeeholic - Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
Coffeeholic - Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
Coffeeholic - Your taste buds are so numb you could drink a lava lamp.
Completely ersatz food -  chopped and formed meateque products.
Completely ersatz foods - chicken nuggets, McRibs, chopped and formed
Confectioners speak candiedly about their products.
Conserve gravity: Avoid showers .. take baths instead.
Conserve gravity: Don't hang clothes up; Keep them on the floor.
Conserve gravity: Give up skiing and for horizontal sports like curling.
Conserve gravity: Stop flipping pancakes
Conserve gravity: Use tape, magnets, or glue instead of paperweights.
Conserve gravity: Walk with a light step.  Carry helium balloons.
Creemy: the name is spelled wrong for legal reasons.
Cruelly tormented Caesar salad.
Currants make grand cakes but speckling them in scones is affectation.
Dave never learns, either. [g]
Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend.
Deep-fried things and killing prisoners -two of Texas' favorite things.
Denny's: the "restaurant" of last resort.
Details, just details.... You're obsessing again.
Did I say that out loud...?
Diminnuendo: a very vague insinuation.
Do NOT feed them sugar!  Makes'em bonkers.
Do not make loon soup <The Eskimo Cookbook>
Do unto others then bill them for it.
Do you understand my quest?
Doctor reckons I'm paranoid. He didn't say it but he was thinking it.
Doctor, he wants to know if you'll make a house call. Whatever that is.
Doesn't this sound terrific, soybean people? Doesn't it sound modern?
Don't ask me my plans.... I'm working intuitively.
Don't forget the GREAT results you get with Babelfish!
Don't worry if you don't speak *, we speak good broken *.
Don't worry if you don't speak Italian, we speak good broken English.
Dopeler effect: stupid ideas seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
During the World War II coffee scarcity Coke considered using bat guano
Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
Eating this crime against nature would be enough to kill its consumer.
Endorsed by the American Association of *
Enough leftovers to make turkey sandwiches for everybody in Belgium.
Eskimos are God's frozen people.
Eskimos eat whale meat and blubber.  I would, too.
Eskimos: Many are cold, but few are frozen.
Even New York City cops have called it a rough town.
Every time history repeats itself the price goes up.
Every year, in defiance of numerous court orders, I keep on posting.
Everyone needs to eat to stay alive.
Everything in the meal will be fried.
Evian flu?  I knew that fancy bottled water was gonna cause a problem!
Excessive concern for consistency is a form of insanity
Exploding turkeys spewing out flaming salmonella.
FIRST NETWORK:  Triangle of string with a tin tied to each corner.
Fake "roast beef" more aptly described as "roastalogna".
Feng Shui: an ancient Chinese philosophy which means literally "new fad."
Food Porn!!!!!
Food and cooking can feed the mind as well as the body.
Foodwinking - giving exotic names to otherwise mundane products
Ford's horseradish chile oatmeal is at the vanguard of things culinary
Foreploy: misrepresentation for the purpose of getting laid.
Found in the seamier districts of the meat preparation world.
Freakest thou not yon mundanes overmuch for they wax sorely pissed
Freaking the mundanes.
Freudian Virus -  Computer obsessed with its own motherboard
Fried in gratuitous amounts of butter, bacon fat and garlic.
From the Moronic Network!
Froot: the name is spelled wrong for legal reasons.
Frozen Crockpot Dinners: instant slow-cooked dinners!
Fur keeps you warm. Show me an Eskimo in a cotton coat.
GIVE generously: support the hapless victims of network error.
Gah.  New standards have been set for mediocrity.
Geez, what did you do to my poor little recipe!?
Generally postal workers don't go wacky at malls... they do it at work
Genuine Swiss Chocolate from Alpine cacao groves.
Get that geek off my network!
Giving in to temptation, the bartender quickly became gincapacitated.
God got his ass kicked the first time He came down here slummin'
God has always been hard on the poor.
Good day to deal with people in high places, like lonely stewardesses
Good ol' *! Makes tastebuds dance!
Good ole fat! makes tastebuds dance!
Government NEEDS poor people to justify its existence!
Grubs.... <<SLURP>> Slimy... yet satisfying. - Simba
Guinness is the beer you've been practicing for.
HEADLINE: BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS
Half of the world's Eskimos have never seen an igloo.
Half of the world's Eskimos have never seen an igloo.
Has France surrendered to the protesters yet?
Hawaii: Land of waving palms. Gotta tip everybody!
Hawaiian Jeopardy?  "I'd like to buy the 73 A's!"
He who hesitates is frost.  -Eskimo Proverb
He's such a terrible lover, he gives women an anti-climax.
Heart disease is caused Republicanism.
Here's the good news: It really can't get much worse.
Hey Atkins I am a baker. I am mad as hell and I am not going to take it
Hey let's chop down a perfectly good pine and drag it inside!
Hey, kid!  Wanna try a network?  The first call is free!
Hi! I am a virus. Please copy and distribute me. Thanks!
Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
Homer Simpson flirts: InnuenDOH!!
How did it all go so wrong/
How to Turn Turpentine Into Top Scotch in Seventeen Easy Steps.
How? The answer is simple: I have no idea.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall but winter doesn't look too promising.
Hurricane 101: Move inland.
I Felt so much safer whent Martha Stewart was off the streets.
I am Canadian Because....I say "Inuit", NOT "Eskimo".
I am not enthusiastic about bowls of Full Frontal Naked Oatmeal.
I bet she even has a recipe for cold fusion.
I can top this guy - he didn't even fry anything!
I could show you my favorite obsession - Frank N. Furter
I don't know which I hate more: looking my age or feeling my age.
I find her sooooooooooo annoying.
I got a particularly stupid idea. Making it even hard to simply pass up
I guess my recipe will not sweep the country.
I have not yet begun to procrastinate
I know the recipe works- it's me that's unreliable!
I know, it ain't over yet.
I saw a hospital bill: babies work out to about $750 a pound.
I seem to be having these recurring visions of deja vu.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
I think you understand obsession better than you let on.
I understand it as well as a barnacle understands nuclear subs.
I used to have a drinking problem. Now I love the stuff
I was never a patriotic Canadian until I visited America.
I wish the fat police would leave my food alone.
I wish you technological guys would speak English.
I'm busy faking fossils for Jesus!
I'm not saying you're lazy, but you should try out for "American Idle."
I'm sure I can tablescape as grandly as Sandra Lee.
I'm too smart for egotism.
I've polished my little answers and now you have it. All five of them.
If I looked like my passport picture, few nations would let me in.
If I try to be like Him, who will be like me?
If I was in charge, there'd be blood in the streets.
If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.
If it turns out really good, give me a call and I'll be right over.
If something goes without saying, let it!
If there is a God I'll be dead before Suppertime.
If there is a God he'll be murdered by Suppertime.
If you can digest milk you're a genetic weirdo compared to most people.
If you have seen one city slum you have seen them all.
If you want a new idea, read an old book.
If you want culture in *, eat some yogurt.
If you want culture in Savannah, eat some yogurt.
If you're a grown-up who can digest milk, you're a genetic weirdo.
If you're thinking of using live animals, you had best think again.
If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?
Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
In America food is obsession, everywhere else it is a fact.
In America sex is obsession, everywhere else it is a fact.
In time you can turn these obsessions into careers.
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund.
Intuitive bakers are eclairvoyant.
Inuit do not think red meat and animal fats are satanic.
Inventive cocktail recipes involving copper polish and various solvents
It isn't what you know that counts. It's what you think of in time.
It represents a low point in human civilization.
It should be illegal to put critters that live in water into tacos.
It was a party in my mouth.
It was a party in our mouths.
It was cleaned last year and thats good enough for the Navy.
It's The Jim and Dave Theory of Everything.
It's a *, whats not to like?
It's a cherished holiday tradition!
It's a pie, whats not to like?
It's an obsession I tell you.  A dark, evil obsession!
It's just Stouffer's Yuppie Chow.
It's just plain WRONG! And it should be illegal!
It's not a 'lost' look you see in my eyes, it's a 'get lost' look.
It's not an obsession, just something I have to do all the time.
It's not what you wear; it's how you take it off.
It's only an obsession after all.
It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee-maker
It's way beyond the * mind-set.
It's way beyond the cheese-and-pepperoni mind-set.
Jamie Oliver makes a good living by cooking with a cockney accent.
Jews are born with guilt. Catholics have to go to school to learn it.
Journalism is just organized gossip
Just how do the planets remain in orbit without the aid of string?
Just how much Prozac and wine will it take to fix it?
Just how much praying to an angry god will it take to fix it?
Just use a standard household sextant.
KFC chicken wings are made with boneless all white breast meat?!?
Karmageddon: pay back, big time.
Kids start losing all respect for authority at 18 months these days.
Kreme: the names is spelled wrong for legal reasons.
Krispy Kream's are worming their way into Canadian society!
Krispy Kreme: trans fat heart death palaces
M meat is food - everything else is food for the food
Mac detected entering network...Kill it? (Y/HELL YEAH!)
Make crime pay, become a lawyer.
Make like a network and disconnect.
Make like an e-mail network and lose it.
Man does not live by bread alone, sometimes he wants a coke.
Man does not live by bread alone, sometimes he wants a *.
Mango-kiwi tropical swirl; now we know we're dealing with a madman.
Marriage is like a  5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky.
Marshmallows are an important nutritional source of sugar.
Maybe we weren't meant for Paradise
Me mundane? Never!
Men aren't attracted to her for her mind but her don't mind.
Michael never learns, either. [g]
Mild roasted garlic: among trendier vampires it's sort of like fugu.
Mine comes straight from people who know how to do those things.
Minot ND  "No Eskimos, It's just too cold for them!"
Murdoch's effect on the media is not unlike McDonald's on lunch.
My eyeballs become fogged with gravy.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
My life is a slum slated for urban renewal!
My new best friend Mr. Deep Fryer is happily bubbling away
NEXT WEEK'S HOMEOWNER TOPIC: Faster Gardening through Dynamite.
Never buy a wine advertised on TV.
Never buy anything labeled "super premium" or "deluxe".
Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.
No, seriously, hosting dinner does NOT have to be traumatic.
No-bid contracts replaced by precision-targeted military appropriations
Northern Europeans bred themselves into a freakish line of adult babies.
Not *ALL* Taglines are filled with innuendo! ... Some are blunt!
Now the "legal boilerplate" is out of the way, let's start.
NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
Obsess much?
Of course when we say cookies on the internet, we do not mean cookies.
Oh my God, what have they done?
Oh no! He posted links! It's spam!
Oh shit! French Canadian U.F.O. worshippers have cloning technology!
On my planet, * eater, you would be placed in a cage
On my planet, egg eater, you would be placed in a cage.
Once, you just ate chocolate. Now, you must  understand it.
One thing most children save for a rainy day is lots of energy.
Only telepathists should have to say "thought to myself."
Opportunity knocks once. If you hear a second, it's a Jehovah's witness.
Or those weird talk shows, about transexual Nazi Eskimos.
Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.
Pan-fried or deep fried.... preferably both.
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now only much, much better
Parsleymonius: a deadbeat chef under garnishee order.
People don't waste time. They just spend it on things they don't need.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Phones were MUCH more complicated in the Sixties.
Pine-sap transfusions could save your Christmas tree's life
Please, no math jokes. It will only cause division.
Point One: Whatever you think about anything is wrong.
Point Three: There are an infinite number of possible Point Threes.
Point Two: There is no Point two which shows what a moron you are.
Pork....the foundation of civilization!
Premium-priced health food: The surcharge of the lite brigade.
Product 19.... the only cereal named after a prime number.
Put the sword down. You're scaring the mundanes.
Quick!!  Act as if nothing has happened!
R.I.A.A. To Crack Down on Recipe Sharing
R.I.A.A. upset by unauthorized cookie and pastry downloads.
RELIGIOUS WAR: Sects and violence
Really old neo-nazi eskimo necrophiliacs on the next Geraldo!
Redistribution of this message on the Microsoft Network is prohibited.
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Reply quickly, as free time is at a premium!
Revolution evaporates leaving behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy
Roastalogna is common in fast-food places.
SHORTEST BOOK: Eskimo Swimsuit Models
SPAM slime is an aphrodisiac.
Sandra Lee is an example of "Girl Tablescapers Gone Wild!"
Sandra Lee uses the word "Tablescape." As a *verb*.
Saw it ... Wanted it ... Had a fit ... Got it! - Alex
See how many innuendos you can make while ordering a pizza
Seltzer will remove those pesky ink fingerprint stains - M. Stewart
Send me your tired, your poor... Oh! And a side of fries.
Sex - the poor man's polo.
Shepherds for Christ: Poor pay, but all the sheep you can fleece!
Sign: UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE GIVEN AN ESPRESSO AND A FREE PUPPY.
Sign: Unattended children will be sold as bait [in fishing store]
Sin wouldn't be so attractive, if the wages were paid immediately.
Slime molds are the lowest form of life...maybe excepting lawyers.
Slump ? I ain't in no slump. I just ain't hittin.
Small group of people who control the sale of vegetables: broccoligarchy
Snowbank: An Eskimo lending institution.
So dense, no light escaped.
So many networks, so little time.
So the French are revolting. No change there.
Socialism is the equal distribution of poverty.
Soda makers get their caffeine from manufacturers of decaf coffee
Some guests had to be rushed by ambulance to the hospital.
Someday, * will tumble to this fact.
Sometimes I just can't prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind.
Sometimes you don't realize that you're in prison until you get out.
Sooner or later a man trying to eat well always falls off the vegan wagon.
Sooner or later, everything will change. Usually sooner.
Southerners like fried butter-on-a-stick pretty good too.
Spud, the beer that made Boise famous.
Stay tuned to this echo for the "Excellence in BBS'ing Network" award.
Strange women distributing swords is no basis for a system of government
Stupidity of the Universe #1: psychic hotlines and networks.
Suicide bombers prove again that women are smarter than men.
Supress the poor, save the rich, kill the strange.
Sure, I'm off topic but I've got the right network!
Taglines may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico
Take that Social Security raise and invest in some thermal underwear.
Taking a Greyhound to Hawaii wasn't a good idea.
That which doesn't crash the network will make it stronger
That's one small node for man, and one big network for mankind
That's probably because most British foods are seasoned with Bland.
The 100 Years' War lasted 105 years because of Joan of Arc.
The Scottish diet forced them to emigrate in search of real food.
The UNIX store in Hawaii sells C shells by the seashore
The best neighbors in the world are the ones who just moved away.
The brewmaster was malty-talented
The difference between an oenophile & a wino is simply one of net worth
The family that computes together needs a network.
The five simple machines: the lever, pulley, doorbell, hammer and toaster.
The hardest decision in life is when to start middle age.
The ingredients are simple; it's how you put them together that counts.
The mere sight of it would cause Jesus himself to break down and cry.
The principal export of the United States is money.
The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
The reggae singer who loves linguine: a pastafarian.
The rest of the meal went down without further incident....
The rest of the sandwich went down without further incident....
The serious artist is obsessed by his own material
The sweet spot between rare and medium rare.
The tiny packet contained a total of 4 ketchup molecules.
The wages of sin are death. But after taxes, it's just a tired feeling.
Then take a core sample of the breast.
There are 2 snakes in Hawaii, both males, in the Honolulu Zoo.
There are no bad foods, just bad portions.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
There should be no joking about the perniciousness of your Murdoch.
There should be no joking about the perniciousness of *.
There's a sucker born again every minute - Jim & Tammy Bakker
These are words that we would all be wise to remember.
They all are all equally true and you will never understand ANY of them.
They lock up the jury at night and let the defendant go home!
They ran the president the way a pimp runs a prostite.
They reacted to * as if it was a biohazard.
They reacted to a croissant as if it was a biohazard.
They squint at the food with suspicion and ask "Are there carbs in it?"
They were happy, because they had just invented beer.
They were happy, because they had just invented *.
They're a load of barbarians anyway and so their opinion doesn't count.
This IS me being calm.
This echo is being archived for evidence purpose
This is definitely the wrong conference for that kind of talk!
This is even hoakier than the FOX network.
This is indeed one for the archives!
This is not your ordinary recipe, the kind you might actually use.
This made sense, because they had just invented beer.
Those amphibian slimes have their magic powers.
Those wacky *... saying * when they mean *
Those wacky Americans... saying pants when they mean trousers.
Those wacky Americans... saying pants when they mean breathing rapidly.
Thousand-Island Dressing sold by the barrel-full
To *anything that is *able is obsession
To program anything that is programmable is obsession
To the Inuit, cooking is not a necessity.
Tolkien's stuff is Beowulf for Kids.
Too cutesy too.
Tourists are such amusing little creatures.
Turkeys the size of Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Unattended children will be deep-fried and served as dinner
Unattended children will be given a free kitten.
Unattended children will be put to work pitting cherries in the dungeon
Unless you are the lead dog, the view never changes.  Eskimo proverb
Useless Invention: A freezer for Eskimos.
Veggies are edible only if someone else makes them.
We act like it's a facist movement.
We are about to get an IHOP and the great unwashed masses are all agog.
We damn well knew we wasn't gonna top them fried Twinkies.
We want all machines to be perfect excep bathroom scales.
We're out of special sauce!  Go put that mayonnaise out in the sun.
Whack a live turkey with a hatchet. It relaxes me.
What do Eskimos buy at Christmas time?   Christmas seals
What is * without *? It would just be a * meal.
What is cooking if not applied chemistry?
What is this day without creamed onions? It would just be a pagan meal
When Jesus Comes Back He'll Murder Every Damn One of You Sons of Bitches
When asked to reveal his secret recipe the baker behaved syruptitiously.
When does it stop being a * and become something else altogether?
When life gixes you lemons, choke on them and die you stupid lemon eater
When two people in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
Where there's a dill there's a bay.
Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii???
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why in the world would we do THAT?
Why isn't there a reverse microwave oven to cool food quickly?
Will Tiki Drinks Turn You into a Fruit?
With * Flavor Spray (TM) you can make anything taste good!
Words will be said.
Wow! This one is REALLY stupid!
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up.
Yes that's a pound of bacon frying in a half pound of butter. Delicious.
Yes, I've been on the Internet again.
Yes... It's true... some people *do* cross networks!
You are now officially obsessive/compulsive.
You can tell them by their haunted look.
You can tell them by their hunted look.
You could try, but it will do you no good.
You look for sexual innuendos in Sesame Street, don't you
You mean this network has OTHER Echoes!
You post a recipe on this group, you better be ready to defend it!
You stupid * eater.
You're hosting the big family T-Day dinner. Congratulations! You moron!
You're making the baby Jesus cry!
You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in the 7-Eleven.

Cheers

Jim, in Yellowknife




... All we are, basically, are monkeys with car keys
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