Text 1849, 285 rader
Skriven 2005-04-21 10:21:18 av George Pope (1:153/307.11)
     Kommentar till en text av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: silent treatment
========================
On (21 Apr 05) ceri@twmba.net wrote to George Pope...
 c > From: "Rai" <ceri@twmba.net>

Who be "Rai"?

Welcome aboard, anyway!

 c > Hiya Handsome,

Perceptive, is ya?
Good!  That'll stand you in good stead with the moderator, who
appreciates intelligent womens!

 c > GP> All she had to do was slug him in the nuts with a rolling pin at
 c > GP> 5:00am, then he's going to holler and swear, thereby losing, and
 c > GP> she still woke him up, as requested!
 c >
 c > Woooo _DON'T_ put ideas into my head!!! <deemed innocent espression>

Hey, __I__ didn't do that!

Do what you will to that man in your bed (until/unless it's ME!!) just
don't bother me with the details!

 c > Mary had a little lamb,


Mary had a little sheep.
It followed her to sleep.
The sheep was a ram.
Mary had a little lamb.

 Mary had a little lamb,
 With a warped and twisted mind;
 It used to sing and dance all night,
 With a spike up its behind.
                                CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 Its wool was black and tangled.
 She took it to a sheep shearer,
 Where it got well and truly mangled.
                                CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 Just for fun, she said;
 But she didn't half enjoy it,
 When it climbed into her bed.
                                CJ

 Have you noticed that most of the poems contributed are about sexual
 acts between Mary and the lamb? I mean, what the f**k is wrong with
 everyone? (and the rest of them are about Mary eating the lamb) - CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 She neither ate nor screwed it;
 She did not boil or saute it,
 She didn't cut or glue it.
 Mary kept the lamb quite well,
 In a little barn on a farm;
 Out of the way of anyone,
 Where it could not do any harm.
                                CJ

 I've just worked out why Mary MUST f**k or eat (or both) the lamb. It's
 piss boring otherwise. - CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 She screwed it for Michael Winner;
 And afterwards, when they were tired,
 They chopped it up for dinner.
                                CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 With an enormous chopper;
 And everywhere that that lamb went,
 They'd cry "Cor, what a whopper!".
                                CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 It used to play with ducks;
 Mary got quite worried, but
 She thought that she should not discriminate against it just because of its
 sexual preferences. After all, she'd screw anything with two or more (or
 frequently less) legs, as long as it had the required components. And even
 if he/she/it didn't, Mary was a very inventive girl.
                                CJ

 Mary had a little lamb,
 She thought it rather fetching;
 Then she plied it with lots of booze,
 And couldn't stop it wretching.
                                RJP

 Mary stopped having little lambs,
 Cos she'd had an operation;
 This was a messy procedure,
 Now sex is her only concelation.
                                TDS

 Mary had a little lamb,
 A giraffe and zebra too,
 By the time she'd finished,
 She'd f**ked the whole damn zoo.
                                GRM


 *********************************************

            ******************
            *  The Epilogue  *
            ******************

 Mary had a little lamb,
 That gets me every time;
 I can never work out what to say,
 Or how to make it rhyme.
                                 NWT & TDS

 Mary had a little lamb,
 Well what a bloody fuss;
 Its not as if we really care,
 So why the hell tell us.
                                PAL

 Mary had a little lamb,
 This rhyme is getting boring;
 With all these crap variations,
 Someone stop me snoring.
                                TDS


Mary had a little skirt,
'Twas split just right in half,
And everywhere that Mary went,
She showed her little calf.

from Anecdota Americana by William Faro, 1933.
        Mary had a little watch,
        She swallowed it one day.
        And so she took some caster oil
        To pass the time away.

        The oil didn't work.
        The time just wouldn"t pass.
        If You want to know what time it is,
        Just look up Mary's …

Mary Had A Little Lamb
==== === = ====== ====

Mary had a little lamb
she tied it to a pylon,
10,000 volts went up it's arse
and turned it's wool to nylon

Mary had a little lamb,
It hops and hops and hops,
It hopped into the butcher shop,
And ended up as chops...

Mary had a little lamb,
its fleece was white as snow.
Mary passed the buthchers shop,
but the lamb went by too slow.

Mary had a little lamb
given hers to keep
it followed her around until
it died from lack of sleep

Mary had a little lamb
An intellectual nit
It never passed it's first exam
Because it couldn't sit

So Mary had her little lamb
With vegies and mint sauce
"Oh little lamb" she cried
"I'm as hungry as a horse."

Georgy Porgy pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
He kissed them too `cause he was gay

Mary had a little lamb
She tied him to the heater
And everytime he turned around
He burned his little peeter!

Mary had a little pig,
she kept it fat and plastered;
and when the price of pork went up,
she shot the little bastard.

Mary had a little lamb,
it vanished one sunny day.
It shuffled off this mortal coil
as chinese takeaway.

Mary had a boyfriend,
A handsome lad was he.
He gave her a lamb for christmas,
And they chopped it up for tea.

Mary had a topless dress,
So sleek, so fine, so airy.
It didn't show the dirty bits,
But oh how it showed Mary.

Mary Had A Little Lamb,
It Had A Touch Of Colic,
She Gave It Brandy Twice A Day,
And Now It's an Alcoholic!!

Mary had a little lamb,
She kept it in a bucket.
And every time the lamb got out,
the bulldog tried to put it back in again.

Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was scarlet red.
The reason for this colour scheme
was the pick-axe in it's head.

Mary had a little sheep,
She took to bed with her to sleep.
The sheep turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb.

Mary had a little lamb,
she also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her bear.

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the rocking chair
To see if they would get along together.

Mary had a little lamb
A little pork, a little jam.
A little toast, a great big roast
An ice cream soda topped with fizz,
And boy, how sick our Mary is.

Hickory, dickory, dock.
The mice ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
And the rest escaped with minor injuries.

Mary had a little lamb
Her daddy shot it dead
And now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned its wool to nylon.

Mary had a little lamb,
Its fleece was black as coal.
Every time it farted,
soot came out its hole.

Mary had a little lamb
You've heard this one before.
But did you know she passed her plate
and had a little more?


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/307.11
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)

--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via the Milky Way! (1:153/307.11)