Text 217, 96 rader
Skriven 2004-09-24 19:49:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av ANTONY STEELE
Ärende: FWd Jokes................
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                           E-Junk
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Welcome to E-Junk! With E-Junk, the newest and coolest auction
site on the Internet, you can buy and sell absolutely anything
all day long -- no matter how useless or repugnant it may be.
Here at E-Junk, we're unleashing the vast power of the Internet
to make sure you can own more junk than you can even imagine.

Just think about the possibilities! Before E-Junk, if you
collected pez dispensers, you may have gone days without buying
any. Not anymore! With our E-Junk auctions, you can now collect
pez dispensers every single moment of your friggin' life. And
it's not just pez. We have tons of useless junk. Our auctions
will keep you so busy that you'll never even have a chance to
leave your house. And with E-Junk on your computer, why would
you?

Here's just a look at what's up for auction right this moment at
e-junk.com (and at our sister site e-crap.com) Remember. If you
see something you like, be sure to register to become a member
today. After all, these items certainly won't last:

Authentic Replica of Mark McGwire's 70th home run ball Looks and
feels just like the baseball that McGwire set the record with.
Impress your friends with this vintage collector's item. Current
bid:$173 by stupidguy65.

8-Track to Beta Converter Rare! One of only 6 made in the world.
Special device that allows one to copy the sound of an 8-track
audiotape to a Beta videotape. Or one can also record the sound
of a Beta videotape to an 8-track audiotape. Perfect for that
occasion when you really really need the sound of a Beta
videotape to be recorded onto an 8-track audiotape. Or
vice-versa. Comes with a beautiful plaid carrying case.
Starting bid: $0. Current bid: $0.

Al Gore-Donate money to the Al Gore Election Fund and win Gore's
support on the issue of your choice. Don't miss this opportunity
to have a say in Washington.
Current bid: $1000 by buddhistmonk46.
(Special Note: Be sure to check out our special politics server
where you can bid on 13 Presidential candidates, 100 Senators.
435 members of Congress, and countless other government
officials. Political bribery online! Only here at E-Junk! Today's
featured auction is Lamar Alexander. Actually give Lamar money,
and he'll come over to your house, cook you dinner, and even do
your dishes.)

Cool Looking Lint!
Exclusive lint from the wastebasket next to somebody's dryer. An
entire year's supply from 1995! Only at E-Junk! Includes both
white and dark clothes! (Click here for a picture).
Current bid: $76 by lintqueen47.

$25 Parking Ticket from Outside Busch Stadium on the Day Mark
McGwire Hit His 70th Home Run Valuable collector's item. This
parking ticket was issued only one hour and 14 minutes before
McGwire's historic blast. Bids start at $25. Also, click here for
other auctions, including parking tickets from the days of home
runs 14, 37, and 43, plus one from three days after Mac hit
number 6.

US Nuclear Secrets
Ever wanted to know how to build a nuclear weapon just like the
ones in the American arsenal? Well, look no more. Bid now, and
you'll find out all the secrets behind three of the most powerful
American bombs.
Current bid: $1.6 million by jiang_zemin@china.gov. Or click here
for other auctions by los_alamos_guy.

Addicted to Collecting
Buy the new book by Murray Tolber that explains why some people
need to collect. In this outstanding book, Tolber explains in
vivid detail a 12-step plan that will help addicted collectors
stop collecting before it ruins their lives. Special signed
collector's edition. Bid now. Bid often.

And if nothing here interests you, you can always start your very
ownE-Junk auction. If you find something unrecognizable in the
corner of your cellar, why not put it up for auction? Who knows?
There may just be someone out there who collects unrecognizable
stuff found in the corners of cellars. Chances are if he exists,
he's a part of the E-Junk community.

Clean out your house and put your junk on auction. You won't
regret it. After all, as we like to say here at E-Junk: There's
always someone stupid enough to buy your junk!

_________Copyright 1999 by Joe Lavin

 * SLMR 2.1a * Excuse my poor attitude.  I'm currently confign a reader!

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)