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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 223, 108 rader
Skriven 2004-09-26 12:21:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: Book
============
GS> "Hey," he whispered to the first violinist, "someone just threw me a fu<k".
GS>
GS> " I'm not surprised," snarled the first violinist, "You've been playing
GS> like a cVnt all night".

You're allowed t say FUCK and CUNT in this echo, Greg, didn't you know that?
Damb, that Old Timers' disease is a bad thing, eh?

At least you're in the right age category:

An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night
and ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care
what you think.

An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger
woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him.

An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 
beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a
herbal tea.

The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older
a man gets, the weaker his libido gets... which is why nature
intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to
go out with older men. 


An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without 
looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is
not true of younger women or drag queens.

Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible
shoes.

An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always 
already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia
about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is
another clingy, whiny, dependent man.

Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you 
are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say
nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her.

An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand
that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an
older woman, you will probably be the last to know...

Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help 
you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey.

An older woman will never accuse you of "using her."  She's using 
you!

Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call 
you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever,
by the phone, for you to call...

Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza
Hut Take out.

An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A 
younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in
case you get any ideas...

Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an 
affair, because somehow they always know.

Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that 
they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often
don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all
possibility of a strip-tease.

Older women know what Kegel exercises are.

An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. 

Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody
that they might possibly boff later.

Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match
with you in the middle of the night in a public park.

Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 
12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some
time to grasp this fact.

An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will
want to screw you too.

An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to
go on an amusement ride.

An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of 
her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1 down at the end of Lonely Street...in Heartbreak Hotel....      

--- EzyQwk V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)