Text 231, 152 rader
Skriven 2004-09-27 22:06:46 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Book
================
Funny

 -=[26-Sep-2004 13:16, George Pope replied IN a message to GREG SEARS]=-

 GS>    Is that all? Work like you don't need the money, Love like you've
 GS>    never been hurt before, and Dance like no one is watching!

 GP> Lazy bitch!
 GP> Imagine if she were somewhat older:

  G-day George Pope, How old would this person be......

 One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current
events. He asked what he thought about the shootings at schools, the
computer age, and just things in general.

 The granddad replied, "Well, let me think a minute ...  I was born
before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact
lenses, Frisbees and the pill. There was no radar, credit cards, laser
beams or ball point pens. Man had not invented pantyhose, air
conditioners, dishwashers, clothes dryers, well the clothes were hung
out to dry in the fresh air and man hadn't yet walked on the moon.

 Your grandmother and I got married first-and then lived together.
Every family had a father and a mother, and every boy over 14 had a rifle
that his dad taught him how to use and respect.   And they went hunting
and fishing together.   Until I was 25, I called every man older than I,
'Sir'-and after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with
a title, 'Sir.'

 Sundays were set aside for going to church as a family, helping those
in need, and visiting with family or neighbors.   We were before
gay rights, computer dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group
therapy.   Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good
judgment, and common sense.   We were taught to know the difference
between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our
actions. Serving your country was a privilege; living here was a bigger
privilege.

 We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent.  Having a
meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins.   Draft
dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze
started. Time - sharing meant time the family spent together in the
evenings and weekends - not purchasing condominiums. We never heard of FM
radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing
earrings.

  We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President's speeches
on our radios.   And I don't ever remember any kid blowing his brains
out listening to Tommy Dorsey.

 If you saw anything with 'Made in Japan' on it, it was junk.   The term
'making out' referred to how you did on your school exam.   Pizza Hut,
McDonald's, and instant coffee were unheard of.  We had 5 and 10 cent
stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.   Ice
cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a
nickel. And if you  didn't want to splurge, you could spend your nickel
on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

 You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, but who could afford one?
Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon.   In my day, 'grass' was
mowed, 'coke was a cold drink, 'pot' was something your mother cooked in,
and 'rock music' was your grandmother's lullaby. 'Aids' were helpers in
the Principal's office, 'chip' meant a piece of wood, 'hardware' was
found in a hardware store, and 'software' wasn't even a word.

 And we were the last generation to actually believe that a lady needed
a husband to have a baby.    No wonder people call us "old and confused"
and say there is a generation gap. How old do you think I am - ????

 ANSWER - - scroll down

















This man would only be 59 years old.


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

If you want to pull a prank on someone without causing permanent damage
but looking as if you have...

Get a 250 liter (55 gallon or so) garbage can, or something pretty large.
Put it in an appropriate place. Fill it up with water. Drop in a block of
Dry Ice (about 25 Kilos or 50 pounds), or as much as you can muster up if
you can't get a full block. In the US, a block of Dry Ice is pretty
inexpensive. It will start bubbling furiously. Now, if you are in the US,
pour in a bottle of Dove dishwashing soap, if elsewhere, washing up
liquid, the sudsiest possible! It amazing how many bubbles can be
produced by a single bottle of dishwashing liquid!!! (If you are really
in an obnoxious mood, use 4 or 5 bottles of that bubble blowing soap -
they last longer!)

We did a great prank on a friend once. He was an Elvis Impersonator, and
often did performances, and always drove a restored classic car, painted
pink, which was his pride-and-joy Elvis-mobile. We set up a plank on step
ladders over his car, placed a low, flat, wide water container on it,
filled it up, poured on the soap, dry ice and *pink* food coloring on his
lawn about 5AM. (we had to be very quiet about this!) About 45 minutes
later, a lady called him up anonymously, telling him that he car was
being eaten by aliens (We told her to say a h-u-g-e Blanc Mange, but
unfortunately, she couldn't without cracking up into laughter, so she
used aliens.) Of course he thought it was a prank call, but when he
looked out the window, all he saw was a H-U-G-E pink pile of bubbles
swallowing up his car! He nearly had a heart attack! ;-)

For the *mean spirited*, this works very will in a house. It will fill up
a room with bubbles! Caution as it will damage things that are prone to
water damage. Its nearly as good a trick as filling a house with popcorn,
which takes a lot of effort!

... Unusual ideas can make enemies.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

Bathing Goldfish


CyberPope buys a hundred goldfish.  There are so many of them
that he decides to keep them in his bathtub.  One day CyberPope
invites his friend over to see all his beautiful goldfish.

The friend I C E-man is impressed, and remarks, "They sure are
beautiful, but what do you do when you want to take a bath?"

To which CyberPope replies, "I blindfold them."


Cheers from,
  ICE-man      /\ Christchurch+          \ | /  Mountains, Sunshine
 Canterbury   /  \/\          |  /\     -- 0 --  Forestry, Farming
New  Zealand~/      \!!ii,,,,_*_/==\--~~~~~~~~~ First to USE 2004!!

... George, better find your aim in life before you run out of ammunition!

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)