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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 3329, 162 rader
Skriven 2006-01-01 07:35:11 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
   Kommentar till text 3316 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: A story
===============
On (31 Dec 05) Greg Sears wrote to All...
 GS> Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
 GS> that
 GS> a woman ever had.

Yeah, hard not to vote that one the winner!

Women do have these problems of embarrassment in public, eh?


     The following are the top three winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments
     Contest in New Woman Magazine.

     No. 1

     One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon
     in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a
     discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned
     that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when
     the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
     hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad
     enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
     the word "tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice
     boomed back over the intercom: "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH
     YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

     No. 2
     While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
     some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of
     her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
     I  told her that if she did not start behaving right now, she would be
     punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
     just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
     Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The
     silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the
     tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my
     dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last
     thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

     No. 3
     It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home,
     but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
     girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after
     making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my
     girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we
     didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When
     we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a
     whole crowd of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire family - aunts,
     uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there!
     My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment
     for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has
     planned a surprise party again.


And another compilation no less red-faced:


BOY, WAS MY FACE RED!!
(from Woman's World - various issues)

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

I was taking a shower when my two-year-old son came into the
bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper.
Although he made a mess, he looked
adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.

They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with
each of our Christmas cards.  Days later, a relative called about the
picture, laughing hysterically, and suggested I take a closer look at it.

Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in
addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror -  wearing
nothing but a camera!  This is one holiday greeting my family will
 never forget!   (D.D. Duluth, Minnesota)

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

I needed to go grocery shopping and run some errands, so I took my
preschooler with me.  I gave him a lollipop to keep him occupied for
a while but by the time we got to the market, he didn't have it any
more.  Assuming he’d dropped it, I didn't think about it again.
We finished grocery shopping and continued on our way.

I noticed people giving me strange smiles all day, but I didn't put
two and two together until I got home.  that's when, as I put away the
groceries, I ran my fingers through my hair - and discovered the  missing
lollipop stuck firmly to my head!

Boy, was I embarrassed thinking about how many people
had seen me that way!   (R.S. Baltimore MD)

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

I had just finished taking a shower when I realized I didn't have a
clean towel. Heading to the laundry room, I suddenly stopped in my tracks
as I passed through the living room. Seeing my sister at the front door
receiving a pizza delivery. I quickly backed into the hallway.

Unfortunately for me, my feet were wet and I ended up slipping and
falling flat on my face. My sister and the pizza delivery guy turned
to look at me, stunned while I quickly scrambled into the other room.
but I was mortified -- and now I make sure I have towels nearby
BEFORE I get in the shower!

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

I had been having trouble with my cable TV, so I was fed up when one
day, I turned on the set and again found it wasn't working.  Furious, I
called the cable company and chewed them out, demanding
they send someone to fix the problem once and for all.

When the technician arrived, he checked the cable hookups while I
waited impatiently in the kitchen.  Finally, he told me he’d found the
problem.  "It’s about time!" I replied. "What’s wrong now?"
"Your TV was unplugged!" he said.
Now I make sure my appliances are plugged in,
before I start complaining!   (LF  Riverside, NJ)

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

My friend and I were at a concert, and I needed to use the ladies’
room. As we made our way across the busy lobby, I saw an opening
in the crowd.  I grabbed my friend’s hand so we wouldn’t get
separated and sped through the masses of people.
I’d almost made it to the ladies’ room when I heard someone yell
above the noise, "Excuse me, I think you have the wrong hand!"
I turned and was shocked to see I was holding a strange man’s hand!
Totally embarrassed, I apologized and made my way back to
my friend, who was still where I'd left her.
Now I look closely before I grab anything.   (RN    Durham, NC)

(î`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî`ú.÷÷.úïî)

I work at a car-rental agency, and one day, I was training a new
agent. One of the first things I teach is the profile of an  "undesirable
renter": someone who looks suspicious or unkempt or is wearing
dirty or torn clothing.
As I was stressing this to her, I looked up and saw a shady-looking
man holding a brown paper bag headed our way.
Seizing the opportunity, I said brightly, "Look at that man.  He’s a
perfect example of the kind of person we don’t want to rent to."
The woman gave me an icy look and replied,
"That happens to be my husband!"
Now I keep all real-life examples to myself.




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