Text 4738, 103 rader
Skriven 2006-12-06 20:53:00 av Greg Sears
Ärende: bofl
============
The Bastard LIVES!

The Bastard Operator from Hell #11

   The darkness cleared as we got out of the tunnel and it occurred to
   me that I couldn't be all that injured.  Then again, maybe I was.
   Someone was going to p..

   I died.

   Of course, a true BOFH considers this not really as dying, but more
   of going home for the holidays.

   Five seconds later, I'm getting the upside of 15Kv across the
   nipples. (These ambulance guys sure know how to party).

                        Bastard Operator from Hell LIVES!

   Three weeks later I'm back on my backside and feeling rested at
   relaxed behind the console again.  The rest has done me good, I
   feel *great!*.  I catch up on everyone's email then let the
   students know I'm back by performing an impromptu preventative
   maintenance in the middle of lab time by kicking the restart switch
   (They love it really)

   I flip today's excuse card,  "GLOBAL WARMING"  YES YES YES!  What a
   welcome home!

   It's the end of the month so all those automatic email reminder
   programs will be sending messages all over the place.  I set the
   system clock back 7 days to buy some peace and quiet and swap the
   printer ribbon for the three year old one with holes in it.

         I sort through my snail mail and crack open the BOFH Monthly
   Newsletter, "kill -9" and check out the articles therein.   There's
   a nice peice of making OS2 slow, boring and painful, but it looks
   exactly like the OS2 installation instructions to me...    Ah, who
   knows.   I head straight to the BOFH Wizard section to see if any
   of my articles were published.   All of them!!!  Even the one about
   the c compiler that randomly removes one line from the source code
   it's compiling!

   The phone rings.

   "The Screen on my PC is blank!!!"

   "It's the power cord" I say

   "No, I checked that.  When I switch it on, it does nothing!"

   "It's the power cord" I say

   "No, I checked and it's all plugged in properly.  There's no lights
   on the keyboard or anything"

   "It's the power cord" I say

   "Oh Hey!  I just noticed, the cord's not plugged in properly!"

   "The power cord?" I ask

   "Yes...  Woopsy"

   "No worries at all" I say "Is it all working well now?"

   "Yes, I think so.  I'm sorry, you WERE right all along"

   "Yes, we're getting a lot of this, it's due to the current Global
   Warming problem.  It causes random thermal expansion and
   contraction resulting in temperature induced movement of friction
   based holding mechanisms.."

   I listen carefully.  Nothing.  In other words, ...

   "You can fix it permanently tho'" I say

   "Really?  How?"

   "Well it's all to do with lowering salt deposits on the metal
   contacts"

   "Oh!"  (Dummy mode irrevocably engaged)

   "All you need to do is just take the power plug out deposit some
   dilute mineral salts on it.  Do you have some dilute mineral salts
   on you?"

   "Uh... no?"

   "Ok, no worries, just stick it in your mouth drool into it.  But
   make sure you wipe the plug first to get rid of any germs, and TURN
   THE SWITCH OFF ON THE MONITOR before you do - we don't want a nasty
   accident!

   "Oh.  Ok!"

   >Fzzztclunk! I hang up as the receiver hits the floor.  Disk space
   is too good for them.

-=- MultiMail/Win32 v0.47

--- SLMAIL v5.1  (#SLO409KEDG15G098)
 * Origin: The Trashcan - The BEST rubbish * bbs.thenet.gen.nz  (3:772/210)