Text 286, 124 rader
Skriven 2006-03-05 17:33:00 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
     Kommentar till en text av Ardith Hinton
Ärende: Invisible Handicaps
===========================
Ardith Hinton wrote James Bradley on 03-04-06 21:54

 AH> [re medication for pain cf. medication for mental illness]
 JB>  You know... I didn't even equate the two!

 AH>           That's my NT (preferred reasoning style).  I
 AH> tend to see similarities where others don't.  Thankyou for
 AH> being receptive to the idea....  :-)

Oh, I'm usually receptive to new ideas, and you are more than welcome, but for
what I don't know. I feel like the party to express appreciation. Nuts to
bolts, you have a way of making me discover things about myself, that I might
never realize had we not started here. 


 JB>  invisible handicap is one she will never sympathize with

 AH>           Could be.  Another possibility, however, is that
 AH> the lady also has an invisible handicap... a lack of
 AH> emotional intelligence or something.  I used to wonder

L! Long before approaching the counter, I was assessing the feeling that this
could be the worst run Sally Anne I have been in, and I've seen some disasters.
I couldn't quite isolate a reason why, but early on I thought to myself that
I'd likely go home empty handed. I did find a bundle of wallpaper boarders for
$.25 a roll, so against my better judgment, and the loss of a buck, I now have
boarders I'll likely never install. I couldn't really envision the pattern, or
colour in my scheme, but I'm that type that likes to test my limits within
reason. 


 AH> about people who said "how- are-you-that's-good" without
 AH> giving the other person time to respond.  I didn't feel
 AH> they really cared how I was. Then there was the GP who, at
 AH> an office appointment, asked "How are you?"  I said I'd
 AH> been hoping he could tell me. The look on his face was
 AH> priceless... [chuckle].

I like that one! My new guy has an interesting style. He enters the room, and
says nothing. Very disarming, and likely a part of his grand scheme. Last time,
inadvertently, I tested him with a nod, and a "How are you?" under my breath.
(I inadvertently just swallowed some air from a shot of pain, just before he
walked in.) Nothing; until I said "Hello."

There's a little bit of good cop/bad cop there too, but I just found out he was
seeing my sisters B-I-L for years at a walk-in clinic. I think that "I thought
I told you to..." is also a device to see if I'd punch a hole through the wall,
or diffuse his harshness with a little factual assessment. Then, just this
Valentines day, (Technically a few days later.) somehow my B-I-Ls' mom mentions
that she sees the same doctor. 

I love the girl, and she has a brutal way of getting her opinions across, so I
respect her honesty. I probed, "How's he working out for you?" She says - one
time - he was shouting at her because she has bad hearing, and she had to ask
if he was mad at her. I too had seen this test, not in a shouting, harsh way,
but I did also notice a game with one of my prescriptions, that had an
accusatory tone.


 AH>           I've since learned that many people, especially
 AH> those whose preferred reasoning style is SJ, like to have
 AH> a script to follow.  When they say "How are you?" and you
 AH> say "Fine," they know what's expected of them.  Even if
 AH> you don't answer in the conventional way... or don't
 AH> answer at all... they'll often go on to the next line in
 AH> their script. Alternatively, they may take offence at what
 AH> you said because they feel threatened by any deviation
 AH> from the script....  :-/

Or I heard a comedian describe an awkwardness as:

1: "Hello."
2: "Fine." <duh!>
1: "Fine, and yourself." <Trying to cover for #2>
2: "Hi." <Finishing recoil, and trying to make a recovery.>

I was told by a Jr. High teacher, that politeness would have us reciprocate,
"How do you do?" with an echo, and NOTHING to do with how you are doing. I was
taught by dear old dad to scrub the rules, in favor of comedy, hence the
departure from etiquette.


 JB>  Sorry, but I lost the train on this one.
 AH>           Here it is....

"Oh, shoot!!! She takes notes." <LOL, scoffing at clipboard>

 >>  through the laughter, "Everybody's crazy but me."

 JB>  Do you think a persons' pride often keeps them from
 JB>  acknowledging their own foibles?

 AH>           In a word... yes!  I suspect a lot may also have
 AH> to do with reasoning styles, however.  Some people
 AH> consider it rude & selfish to use the word "I" or to
 AH> acknowledge feelings of one's own but see nothing wrong
 AH> with making negative judgements about others.  That may be

He without stones, shouldn't cast them in the first house?

 AH> the way they were taught to think, and if they seem
 AH> content with it their brains may be wired the same way...
 AH> or they may find it convenient because it enables them to
 AH> feel superior to others.  I guess it's easier for them to

Nature nurture... Maybe, just a crutch.

 AH> say "You're crazy!" & "That's stupid!" than to admit to

Those who can't, criticize those who are?

 AH> what they don't know or don't understand.  But I find
 AH> being able to acknowledge one's own foibles & suchlike a
 AH> crucial step in the process of learning....  :-)

I just wrote about Paris Hilton, versus Hedy Lamar, in how one was smart enough
to play dumb and not the other way around, nor in this respective order.


... James
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