Text 408, 102 rader
Skriven 2006-10-12 17:52:19 av Ardith Hinton (1:153/716.0)
    Kommentar till text 392 av James Bradley (1:134/77.0)
Ärende: My Family and...  1.
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Hi, James!  Recently you wrote in a message to Ardith Hinton:

AH>  Instruments are different... they need to be used.

JB>  Right, reeds are replaceable, but the cork needs to
JB>  receive moisture? (AKA: a spit valve? B-)


          Basically, yes.  It doesn't hurt bamboo (cane) reeds to dry out for
an extended period... what usually kills them is getting water-logged, and
seasoned wood is preferable.  But when levers go out of adjustment & pads start
shrinking on woodwind instruments they may be complicated & expensive to fix
because there are so many of them.  If you play regularly you notice minor
leaks a lot sooner. Such problems are more easily dealt with when they happen
one at a time....  :-)



JB>  Dad's been an a-hole again, where out of his mouth,
JB>  comes, "You don't need that cane." in a derogatory
JB>  tone. I then said "I need it to keep your sorry ass
JB>  inline, at least." The hint wasn't taken, and as
JB>  sure as sun shines, I end up walking home without
JB>  the stick.


          I might take that from a physio!  But typically, people who think
they know better haven't a clue & don't take hints.  You're the one who's
wearing the hip problem & you don't strike me as the sort of individual who
would use a cane if he didn't need it, so when you tell me you need a cane I
believe you....  :-)



JB>  "Why aren't you able to come out?" for the next two
JB>  days, was almost intolerable to answer. Like mom saying,
JB>  "I understand the lectures might make you feel awkward."


          IOW, it's hard for them to imagine what they haven't experienced? 
I'm reminded of a person I mentioned earlier.  She decided a certain female
relative was "lazy" because she wasn't doing xxx, yyy, and zzz.  As it happens
I know the individual she was referring to.  I pointed out that this lady was
almost ninety years old & couldn't stand without support.  But she still
couldn't get her mind around the idea that someone else might be less energetic
than she is... (sigh).



JB>  Mom said to me, "It's your job to know about anxiety,
JB>  so you can better understand me." "No, it's your job
JB>  to understand anxiety, so I don't have to deal with
JB>  your increasing list of demands."


          Well put!  If others expect you to understand their problems it's
only fair, IMHO, that they make a sincere effort to understand yours.  And they
can't achieve the latter unless they've done their own mental/emotional
homework.  :-)



JB>  Yes, I am grateful I don't have total ingrates for
JB>  parents, but they sure could make our lives easier
JB>  if they could see how close to pathetic some of their
JB>  actions are.


          Uh-huh.  When I saw how my parents were brought up, though, I
realized they were trying to improve on it.  I think most parents probably
are....  :-)



JB>  And then there's the most trained Sociologist in the
JB>  bunch, enabling in the worst way, and yet not be
JB>  cognoscent of it. Where her 'non-favourite' gets all
JB>  her back stabbing, she refuses to make her favourite
JB>  accountable. No, my family is perfect. <LOL>


          No wonder you're cynical about "edumuckated" folks!  I know others
who pass exams with flying colours, but don't seem to have learned anything....
 ;-)



JB>  I believe, that others are so rarely exposed to my
JB>  intolerance, that it shocks them when it happens.
JB>  "This isn't like you." "No, this is the bullshit
JB>  you've never heard from me, because you were too
JB>  preoccupied to pull your head out of your..."


          I can be quite blunt when I'm angry too.  Sometimes one needs to be
in order to wake people up & get their attention... (sigh).




--- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+
 * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)