Text 109, 101 rader
Skriven 2006-04-22 13:18:00 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
Ärende: Some new ones 4
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Insidious things these mint juleps. They creep up on you.
Insipid winter tomatoes? Wait for summer, fool.
Is something wrong with that picture? Well, duh.
Is this some sort of ultimate weird mutant fusion cuisine?
It Wasn't a Party, I Just Had Some Friends Over!
It is easier to get into something than to get out of it.
It is just so darned exciting to learn things here.
It is still drunk by hordes of secret cultists and fetishists.
It is time. I am blocking it out. I have now installed a new reality.
It numbs the soul and induces alcoholism and Xanax and divorce.
It pays to have friends in low places.
It seems excessive but who am I to argue with another's paranoia.
It was refreshing as * in hell.
It was refreshing as a banana split in hell
It was refreshing as cold frosty mugs of draft in hell.
It'd be like bribing a monkey to eat a banana.
It's a flavor that, once tried, you tend to crave.
It's a meal! It's an obsessive disorder! It's both!
It's a memarkable advance in food engineering.
It's a part of our culture now and it's not going to go away.
It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
It's not the way you thought it was. Look again.
It's odd, to judge by the Food Network, but we don't cook anymore.
It's okay to have nothing to say . . . unless you're talking.
It's sad.  We used to get clever, creative trolls worth arguing with.
JESUS WAS A SOCIAL ACTIVIST LIBERAL
Junk food is designed to push our buttons.
Just  a rowdy bunch of iggerant ex-convicts.
Just another bleach blond Botoxed trophy wife in a ugly-ass McMansion.
Just another door-to-door purveyor of fine religions.
Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
Just because you're smart doesn't mean that the other guy is stupid.
Just eat it until you like it!
Just pretend that processed food doesn't exist.
Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
KEEP YOUR THEOCRACY OFF MY DEMOCRACY
Keep staring.... I may do a trick.
Kevin's getting progressively weirder.
Kids, try this at home!
Knocked. You weren't in. - Opportunity
Know your limits.
Labels are written in what I call supermarket pastoral.
Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects.
Lavish spending can be disastrous.  Don't buy any lavishes for a while
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn to say, "I don't know."
Let's privatize the Secret Service and get some Arabs to guard Bush.
Let's-party-until-the-cows-come-home-then-let's-party-with-them.
Life is full of uncertainties. Of course, I could be wrong about that
Like Smith & Wesson - not inherently evil, just sometimes used for evil
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Living on Earth is expensive but it includes a free trip around the sun.
Lobsters aren't food; they're giant bugs.
Look here,  you've never really seen this country.
Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
MY VALUES? FREE SPEECH. EQUALITY. LIBERTY. EDUCATION. TOLERANCE
Mackerelease yourself. Embrace mackereality.
Maine's state motto: Cold, But Damp.
Malt liquor: The beer so strong they don't even call it beer.
Malt liquor: The brew from the bad part of town
Man, oh man, was that some seriously good eatin'!
Many know how to improve what's there; few can see what isn't there.
May the best of your past be the worst of your future.
Maybe I should call it off. Expectations are getting too high.
McDonald's has a fragrance & flavor only nominally connected to burgers
McDonald's still has that unmistakable taste
McDs aren't an affront to American culture, they are part of it
McRibs taste just like pig if pigs were all boneless and Jell-o jiggly
Me want *!
Me want candy!
Me, a skeptic? I hope you have proof.
Meandering to a different drummer.
Men without the Spirit don't accept spiritual things.
Mix all together? No? Oh. Maybe Snack is not for you.
More guns! Stop angry rapists from eating your wife's eyeballs! Do it!
Most kanji tattoos are pretty damn hilarious to real Asians.
Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life.
My dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
My family prays AFTER they eat!
My favourite winter sport is taking a plane to Florida
My friends gave me the kind of looks Texans reserve for vegetarians.
My goal in life is to wake up in the morning
My god that's pure ugliness, like playing Dizzy Gillespie on a kazoo
My god that's pure ugliness, like Dali painting real-estate brochures.
My microwave display reads "TILT!"
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
My only criminal-level addiction is to pork.
My pie filling bubbled over and ate the enamel off the oven.
My son is an honor student at the state correctional facility.

Cheers

Jim, in Yellowknife




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