Text 110, 101 rader
Skriven 2006-04-22 13:19:00 av JIM WELLER (1:123/140)
Ärende: Some new ones 5
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NOBODY DIED WHEN CLINTON LIED
Never hit a cop.
Never mistake asthma for passion
New and Improved. Re-engineered! Reformulated! Rebranded!
Night Train, "We will sell no wine.... before noon."
Not really cow or chicken but food science.
Nothing of lasting import was ever accomplished sober.
Nothing wrong with having nothing to say unless you insist on talking.
Nothing, not even fear of death, can make me a vegetarian.
Now that's funny [TM].
OF COURSE IT HURTS. YOU'RE GETTING SCREWED BY AN ELEPHANT
Oddly, sadly none of this compells me to buy their product.
Of course, he is an engineer.
Of course, she is a scientist.
Okay. I am at a loss here. We all are.
Old? There's a little hole in the modem where you shovel in the coal.
One man's poison is another's umami.
One of sour, two of sweet, three of strong, four of weak.
One of the most popular winter sports is taking a plane to Florida
One's spiritual awakening is another's nervous breakdown.
Only a fool stoops to pick up a dimer with bills fluttering in the wind
Oooh, a doobie! Let's bogart that fat boy!
Or ourselves for desiring winter tomatoes?
Our city says NO to New Age Festivals.
Our highways have become insane asylums with turn signals
Oysters are clearly members of the phlegm family.
POVERTY, HEALTHCARE & HOMELESSNESS ARE MORAL ISSUES
PRO AMERICA, ANTI BUSH
Peach Fresca is a giant step forward in chemical food.
Peanut butter sushi?
Peeps, like Twinkies,  are squishy and indestructible.
People are buying the stuff by the truckload, thanks marketing
Pest control companies keep pestering me for my recipes.
Pigs have greater cognitive ability than dogs and most three-year-olds.
Politics, like a magic act, requires a lot of successful redirection.
Portland is in both Maine and Oregon. Driving across town is brutal.
Posting from Red-Blooded Conservative Midwestern Anytown USA.
Poting from the heart of upscale white-bread tract-home yuppie blissland.
Poutine: gooey, gloppy, messy, calory dense - what's not to like?
Prohibition? I Told You Women Shouldn't Be Allowed to Vote Now Didn't I?
Prohibitionist strictures fly in the face of history and human nature.
REBUILD IRAQ? WHY NOT SPEND 87 BILLION ON AMERICA?
RELIGIOUS FUNDAMENTALISM: A THREAT ABROAD, A THREAT AT HOME
REMOVE BUSH'S FEEDING TUBE
Revenue Canada allows me to list taverns as dependents for taxes.
Rules are but fanciful inventions.
Rules are the hobgoblins of creativity.
STEM CELL RESEARCH IS PRO LIFE
STOP MAD COWBOY DISEASE
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS; BRING THEM HOME NOW!
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS; IMPEACH BUSH
Save a cow - eat a vegetarian.
Say it with me: * Spectacular!
Say it with me: Frankfurter Spectacular!
Self-actualization through heedless boozing.
She tried to sit on my lap while I was standing.  Humphrey Bogart
Shield yourself from evil pagan religions where they eat eyeballs.
Should we reproach industry for insipid tomatoes?
Since Troll School closed, we're just getting illiterates.
Snowboarding: for people who don't feel regular skiing is lethal enough.
So I sincerely believe that women are wiser than men.
So is pastured the new organic?
Some people are shocked you can't get a steak without killing a cow.
Some pursue happiness, others create it.
Sounds funnier than a Don Knotts film festival!
Sounds like one of Tom Cruises' ideas.
Speak well of your enemies; you made them.
St. Patrick ran the snakes out of Ireland for a reason.
Step aside and give your place in line to someone older than you.
Still fake but closer to the real thing than anything before.
Street food gambling: something on a stick.
Stupid is like kudzu. Once it gets a foothold, it just grows wild.
Sumeria: when Iraqis drank beer and were cool.
Swill some Red Bull looney juice.
TRUST ME, I NEVER TOLD A SINGLE SOUL TO VOTE FOR BUSH (Jesus)
Tab: saccharin-loaded, oddly metallic, rumored-to-be-cancer-causing
Tab: that freakishly kitschy, creepy-tasting diet cola from the '60s
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Teenagers are strange animals.
Ten years from now, many antiques will be made of plastic.
Terrorist memo: Bush is listening. Use big words.
Thank you for turning a simple chat into a bizarre ritual
Thanks for all your helpful replies, except the troll.
That was... um, it's... Uh. Yeah. It's just... and... the pig...
That's a question to which there is no coherent answer.
That's partly because I know too much.
The E.P.A. insists that my garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols
The English are unable to cook tasty food so herring is a real treat.
The PETA folks see me as a felon.

Cheers

Jim, in Yellowknife




... Eat your oatmeal like God intended
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